


To Your Eternity

by ENobel Prze Gryscale Waey (gowonsfriedscalp)



Category: One Direction (Band), 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Character Death, Dark, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Holding Hands, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, Multi, POV First Person, Serious, Sorry Not Sorry, Swearing, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 01:40:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27725624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gowonsfriedscalp/pseuds/ENobel%20Prze%20Gryscale%20Waey
Summary: This is Izuku Midoriya's story of going to UA!!!!
Relationships: Midoriya Izuku/Everyone
Comments: 2
Kudos: 8





	To Your Eternity

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im Bri'ish) 2 Kim Seokjin, 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Park Gowon ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! LOONA ROX!

Hi my name is Izuku Deku Midoriya I am sixteen and I have green hair like a bush that’s why my friends call me Izuku the bush even though I don’t like it. Anyway today is my first day at UA so I tied my blonde hair up into a messy bun and put on my Good Charlotte band shirt and black converse and walked down the stairs.

I tripped on a shoelace because I didn’t tie it properly (cool kids don’t tie their shoelaces) so I landed on my nose and broke it. “OW! I broke my nose!” I yelled.

I pushed it back into place and continued on to have breakfast. I placed the toast into my mouth and opened the door.  
  


“I’m headed out, Okaeri- Okaa-san!”

I run into a truck. Weird. That wasn’t there before!

My Okaa-san, Inkay Midoriya appears in the doorway holding a cigarette. “Oh yeah, we’re broke. So I sold you off to One Direction.”

_Gasp! My Okaa-san did WHAT?!!!!?!!?!?_

“Oi oi oi, wots all of this, then?” a voice comes from behind. I spin around and-

“H-h-harry Styles!??!?!?!?!”

“The won an’ ounly.” He twirls. My legs shake. “Da ting go skrrrrra”

“You can’t just say that, Harry.” Louis comes from behind him and drapes his arms around my shoulders. I squeal. “Mans not hot was written by a black man, you can’t just take it away from them.”

“Well it’s mine now, innit luv?”

I speak up. “Well you can’t just say that- there’s copyright laws and everything!”

Harry steps closer. He steps again. He steps again, and he’s right in my face. The rest of one direction come back out of the truck. Zayn isn’t there rip Zayn he’s forever in our hearts.

“Well wot you gonna do about it, then? You just got sold to us. Gonna cry? Gonna piss your pants, eh?”

“I’d drink it.”

“Shut up Liam no one cares about you or your career.” Harry reaches over and licks Louis’ neck.

“B-but what about my human rights??” I stammer out.

He licks his lips which are still on Louis’ neck.

Just then, a shout. “Hey!”

We all turn, and see Draco Malfoy!

“Leave Bushzuku alone! Stop calling me Draco Malfoy, I’m Katsuki you fucking nerd!”

I swoon. Draco Malfoy is so good and sweet and has never done anything wrong ever. I love him sm.

“Kyaaaaaaa!!!!!” I squeal. This is embarrassing- I didn’t wear the catboy headband like he wanted to!

Draco pulls me away from One direction. Midoriya Outko blows her smoke into the air.

“Oh, Draco. You’re so strong.” I swoon. But at the same time I am confused. Should I choose Draco or Harry Styles of One Direction????

So many choices. “Hey!” I shout. “I need to get to UA!”

Niall opens the door. “Well hop in, then!”

We get into the Mystery Van but One DirectionTM and speed off to UA in one direction (AN: Haha get it because the van is going in one direction to UA and the band is called One Direction and that’s where the comedy comes in)

\--

We arrive at one direction and I still have my toast in my mouth. “Oh no Draco, we’re going to be late!” I pull him along and we trip on our loose shoelaces (cool kids don’t tie their shoelaces) and fall onto the ground and break our noses.

We set them back immediately afterwards “Stop calling me Draco, stupid Bush!”

Oh NO! My toast is now covered in dirt. I eat it anyways.

One of the girls immediately eww in disgust. What a prep! She obviously never listened to 100 gecs nor tried sewer food. “You’re a normie!” I yell after her. She skitters away. Good. Looks like my intimidation check rolled Nat 20.

I turn back to Draco, who wears a CaramelDansen t-shirt (they teach at UA), baggy white jeans, pink nail polish, and catboy ears (AN: ALL THE KEWL BOIZ WER IT OK)

“Fuck you Deku I hate you” he growls like professor snape in a sexy sexy growl.

“I love you too, Draco.”

“Wait a minute!” Louis Tomlinson of One Direction shouts. “But Izuku, I love you too!”  
  


“So do I!” Niall calls.

“So do I!” Liam screams.

“Oi luv I luv you as much as oi luv Obama, got it?” Harry says as he jumps down from the side of the truck like spiderman. He scuttles over and clicks his hands.

I blink. “Obama the war criminal?”

“You best be not talking smack about my boyfriend, alright luv x?” he threatens.

“I thought he was dating Michelle Obama?” Wait- why do Michelle Obama and Barack Obama have the same first name??? (AN: This is a joke because In Japan they do last names first and first names last and michelle Obama and barack Obama have the same last name so to a Japanese this is funny please laugh)

“Oim collectin’ all the Obamas, see? Oi need three more then oi can collect the set.”

“...Like a gacha?” I ask.

“Marriage is a gacha. A lil fun fact for you: You can roll for pokemon.” He winks both eyes.

Draco pushes me to the floor like a vertical kabe-don. He looks at me like food. “Don’t listen to Harry Styles of One Direction. Else I’ll be forced to...eat you up.” He growls sexily, like Yoda from the Mandalorian.

I faint. The amount of Bishie is too much!

\--

I wake up in the infirmary. “Hey you.” I turn to see- RECOVERY GIZRL!!OWMHWJBDAMDKSOP

“Trying to flirt out in the open? No gummy for you!” She smacks my head. Ow!

“We weren’t flirting! We were only doing the Monster Mash!” I protest protestingly. She smacks my head again. Ow!

I look over and see a Good Charlotte Band T-shirt draped over the chair. “OMG! You listen to Good Charlotte too??!?!?” I scream.

She gives me a blank look. “No. I sneeze in it.” She demonstrates it by picking it up and sneezing in it.

What a waste of a band T-shirt. But at the same time- it’s recovery girls sneeze juice. Ugh, decisions, decisions- just like One Direction and Draco Malfoy!

Oh no! “Miss Recomvey grits, What about One Direction and Draco Malfoy?!”

“They’re fighting in Training Ground Zero.”

That’s terrible! I immediately rush off.

I get to the second floor and trip over my shoelaces (cool kids don’t tie their shoelaces). Damn! Now isn’t the time! I need to stop Draco Malfoy from killing One Direction!

And then I realise I don’t know the way around UA.

“Hey, you!” I point at one blonde Tintin knockoff.

He points at himself. “Who, me?”

“Yes, you!”

He straightens. “What can I do for you?”

“Please lead me to Training Ground Zero.”

He grins widely, like a knockoff Tintin. “Sure, but let’s play a game! What has three days at night, a hundred legs at day, and-“

I punch him through the wall and looks like we found Training ground zero.

I go to the sounds of fighting just in time to see Draco Malfoy shout “Avada Kadavra!” at Harry Styles.

“Draco no, you can’t just Avada Kedavra Harry Styles!” I shout.

Harry Styles pulls out a glock and shoots Draco Malfoy twenty-six times in the chest.

I rush over to Draco’s body. “No! Draco Malfoy! How could this happen?” I wail.

Draco Malfoy cups my cheek. “My....my name isn’t Draco- It’s Ba...ku.....” He falls limp.

“DRAAACOOOOOOOOOOO” I cry.

I am angry. Super angry. Sparks dance around my fingers. My hair spikes up and glows yellow and turns into giant buns like Mickey Mouse’s hair buns. My Good Charlotte band shirt flies off my shoulders. “You’ll pay for this.”

We fight.

And then I punched Harry Styles of One Direction in the face and he died and Oh my God I just killed Harry Styles of One Direction.

“Totally not Pogchamp, dude.” Niall calls.

“Shut up Niall no one cares about you or your career.” I yell back. He leaves the hall crying and comes back with a casket.

Harry styles sits back up. “I said coffin, you idiot! I don’t want to be buried in a casket!”

Oh my God I killed Harry styles so hard he lost his accent.

“Poor Harry Styles. Sometimes I still see him in my dreams.” He puts Harry Styles into the casket and gets into it. “Maybe if I die people will miss me and listen to my music.” He looks into the camera. “Stream Heartbreak Weather.” He closes the lid.

Immediately after he slams the lid open. “I JUST GOT INTO A COFFIN WITH A DEAD GUY!” he yells in distress. He runs off and jumps into a bin.

“It’s okay, y/n, I still love you.” Liam says, shyly. He twists his arms into a French knot, which is actually pretty impressive. You go, Liam.

Wait a minute. “My name is Izuku Bushdoriya.”

“Yeah. That’s what I said.” He says, tilting his head cutely like Brendan Fraser in his alimony interview.

“Oh Liam, you know to say the things you make me swoon.” I say, as seductive as water when eating curry.

He holds his hands up. “Wait a minute. Isn’t it weird that you’re sixteen and I’m twenty-seven?”

“Oh, hold on a minute.”

(AN: ALL CHARACTERS ARE SIXTEEN IN THIS FIC, UNLESS STATED OTHERWISE)

“Nice.” He replies.

Just then, the door slams open. “I am Aizawa Shouta, your homeroom teacher. I am thirty-one this year. Shouldn’t you be in class?”

“But mister Aizawa sir,” I protest, “we were just Moshing to Good Charlotte!”

“I thought we were going to mosh to ‘Best Song Ever’ by-“

“Shut up Liam. We are going to mosh I Just Wanna Live.”

Mister Aizawa-sensei raises an eyebrow. “That’s great and all, but you need to go to class.”

“Fine.” I relent. We go over to class, but Liam is stopped by Mister Dadzawa-sensei.

“Stop. You aren’t even in this school.”

“Uh, excuse me? I’m literally standing right here in this school.”

Dadzawa exhales and deflates like a balloon. We leave him on the ground and head over to 1-A.

\--

“I AM-“ the door slams open, “FIFTY YEARS OLD AND COMING THROUGH THE DOOR LIKE A NORMAL PERSON!” All Might shouts. Wow! All Might in the flesh! Too bad Draco is dead and buried in ground zero, he would have loved to see him!

This is so sad actually. Draco cannot see All Might. I start crying tears of blood down my pale-ish face.

My classmates all stare in shock. Whatever, this ain’t about them.

“Young Midoriya, why are you crying?” All Might asks.

“I didn’t spray-paint my hair purple!” I reply. Purple was Draco’s favorite color. Every time he saw purple he would say “Hate that shit get it away from me” but I know he was just a tsundere. RIP Draco Malfoy, forever in our thoughts.

\--

School ends, and immediately a truck drives up. “Hey there angel, your mom sold you to us, remember?” Niall says, sweet like the Onceler from the movie The Lorax

A bus lands from the sky. “Not if I have anything to say about it.” Out comes Zayn, who wears a Psychosocial shirt and a rubber mask. I know it’s Zayn because the rubber mask has his name on it so it must be him.

He serenades me into his arms. I blush, feeling his muscular muscled arms. He taps me on the shoulder.

I turn my head.

“You have big eyes,” he says.

I blush. He laughs. “Don’t worry- It’s cute!”

My face heats up even more.

He cracks an egg on my face and it cooks from the heat. He slurps up the cooked egg in one swallow.

“Wow, Izuku. That was so hot. Your face I mean.” He says sheepishly.

“Oh Zayn.” I say, stroking the wool on the back of his neck with my hands.

“Hey!” A shout comes from the school. We turn and see President Michael waving his arms. “I am thirty years old, and you cannot flirt on school property!”

Zayn kisses me through the rubber mask, passionate like Danny Devito as the Lorax promoting capitalism. I kiss him back. Who knew the taste of rubber could be so wonderful?

“Why are you doing this?!” El Presidente Bicyicle screams.

We turn back to him. “I love him! He’s the only one that brings me true happiness!” Zayn shouts. We kiss once again. Fire burns deep inside my veins, the heat of passion.

It’s actually really hot. Why does my blood boil?

Suddenly a sewer grate pops open, and Venom pokes his head out. His badly animated tongue instantly lashes out and wraps around Zayn.

“Zayn! No!” I yell.

“Y/n, I love you.” He says, and he is dragged to the pits of hell.

“My name is Izuku!” I weep.

\--

I get back home, sobbing in the Mystery Van but One DirectionTM. I shrug off my black converse and my Good Charlotte shirt and my skinny jeans and put on Mr Brightside by the Killers even though it’s a mainstream song but it really be one of those days.

I flop onto my bed, causing the Edward Cullen Body Pillow to be knocked aside.

I pull on a dark blue blouse and a long, khaki-colored skirt.

A portal suddenly manifests in my room. The Villain Dabi steps out.

“Oh my God! It’s the Villain Dabi!” I yell, and then I remember that I am sad. “Leave me alone, the Villain Dabi.”

“I am seventeen, and why should I leave you alone, kitten?” he says sultrily, like Lin-Manuel Miranda on the set of Hamilton rapping about cheating on his wife.

I sit up and lean into his embrace. It’s uncomfortable and his breath smells, but it’s the Villain Dabi, the dream emo villain. He cups my cheek, with his long arms that stretch all the way from the portal.

He sits down next to me. The arms don’t stretch as much. It’s still uncomfortable due to all the staplers but it’s the Villain Dabi, the dream emo villain.

“I am sad and crying because three people I love are dead and buried in the ground.” I reply through the tears flooding my eyes and onto the carpet.

Dabi lifts his soaked feet. Water drips from his untied shoelaces. “Hey, Izuku. Life is life. Death is death. Whatever happens happens.” He says, his musty breath filling the room. I take out nose plugs and put them on. “Sometimes you just got to let it go.” He says with a smile.

“Oh Dabi,” I swoon. “You always know what to say just at the right time!”

I hug him. He stiffens, then relaxes and wraps his long arms around me. He smells of trash and sweat, but that’s okay because this is the Villain Dabi, the dream emo villain.

His phone pings. “Oops, looks like I need to go!” he says, before dashing out of the window.

I flop back onto my bed and hug my Edward Cullen body pillow. Why do all the people I love keep leaving?

\--

The north wind blows across the shores, freezing everything in its path. I stand on Dagobah beach, gazing out towards the sunset.

All Might rolls up in his skinny formTM. “I am also fifty in this form. What’s wrong, young Midoriya?” He does the nae nae.

“I’m sorry, All Might. I don’t know if I can bear the burden of One for All if the people I love keep dying around me.”

All Might takes out his Beatspill+ by Dr Dre and sets it down beside us. The guitar chords of Despacito start to play.

“Ay, Fonsi. DY. Oh oh. Oh no, oh no(oh). Hey yeah. Diridiri, dirididi Daddy. Go!” All Might says.

“All Might, you’re just singing the intro.”

He looks at me. “Did it help?”

I nod. It made me feel better actually. Life is a river and I am just a fish; but I can choose to go however slowly I want. “Thanks, All Might!”

He gives a thumbs up. I fistbump him.

\--

I wake up the next morning with sand in my clothes. I take a shower and spraypaint my hair purple. Just what Draco would’ve wanted- if he was still alive. I step out and put on my 100 gecs band T-shirt, pull on the long Khaki skirt from last night and tuck the shirt in halfway. I pull my blonde hair back into a messy bun and step down the stairs.

“Hi, Izuku.” Liam greets, and oh fuck I forgot that I was sold to One Direction.

“Good morning, love.” Louis says, and then immediately pauses. He licks his lips. Apparently no one in One Direction has heard of chapstick.

He pushes me into the wall. “Now we can’t have you going out like that. You’d be too... _irresistible_.” He purrs sensually, like Blue from Blue’s Clues.

He turns off the lights. This got dark quick.

“Niall! Louis! Where are you?” I yell.

“Over here love.” Louis yells from the left. That sounds like something Satan would say. I go to the right.

I reach out and touch him. He pulls me into his embrace. “Now that we’re alone together in the dark,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows, “want to talk about death and the economic collapse of society due to the actions of the selfish few?”

It’s too fucking dark. I reach over behind him and switch on the lights.

“There! Much better!” I look at the clock. “Oh no! I’m going to be late!” I exclaim.

Louis shoves a slice of toast into my mouth and drags me to the Mystery Van but One DirectionTM. “I’m headed out, Okaeri- Okaa-san!” I yell, waving to the house.

Satan waves back.

\--

Parentzawa waves his arms around like a tube man. His leg is attached to an electric fan, which blows air into him after his deflation yesterday.

One of his arms smacks the chalkboard, which has the phrase _‘Heroing 101’._ “Alright class listen up. Today we’re going to learn about heroing 101.” He says whilst drinking form his juice packet.

Drops of juice land on Hagakure’s face, allowing the outline of her face to be visible.

“Step one: You are all child soldiers and will die for the capitalistic cash cow of heroism.” He speaks. And then he squints. He hobbles over to the lights, electric fan dragging after him, and flicks on the lights. He shuffles back. “What I meant to say was Heroism is a dangerous job. You will all need to take care of yourselves.”

Some blonde kid swoons. “Thanks, Dad.”

Parental unit Aizawa wrinkles his nose. “I have literally known you for one day nor shown any affection.”

Draco Malfoy was the same. That means that they both care! They’re both such Tsunderes!

“That’s not a nice thing to say, Dad!” I yell.

Parental cell block Aizawa looks at me, then flops onto the table. His soul leaves his body.

At 8am on a Tuesday on the first week of UA, Aizawa Shouta fucking dies.

\--

Suddenly a portal opens up, and some old wrinkled walnut steps out.

“My name is Orufou Wan, and I am two hundred and seventy years old. You will all die.”

Righteous anger fills my veins. “Not if I have anything to say about it, All for One!” I stand on a table and do the harlem shake.

“My name is Orufou Wan but okay.” He does the Gangname style in return, completely counteracting my energy. Shit! This can’t do.

I step it up a notch by connecting my spotify to the school speakers.

_“In a car, under the bridge! Play your music-“_ comes out instead.

“Sorry dude could you wait for a bit for the Spotify ad to be done?”

“Oh yea totally.” He replies.

We stand around awkwardly for the ad to end. ‘Yummy’ by Justin Bieber begins to play.

“Now this is where the fun begins,” I say, as green electricity starts to dance around my fingertips. The electricity shocks me. Ow!

All for One gathers his muscles and grows an arm. He pulls back, and punches.

I gather the power in my right fist, and punch back. We meet in the middle, and everything around us is blown away.

Parental fridge compartment Dadzawa’s dead body flies into the distance.

“How...how can this be happening?” All for One screams, as I push him back. The soles of his feet dig into the ground, drawing tracks into the soil.

“You planned to kill a bunch of children. But that’s where you’re wrong.” I say, putting on a savage feral smile like freddy mercury from the creepypasta. “You see...I’m ✨different ✨. Avada Kedavra!”

“How the fuck did you say that out louuuuddd.....“ he cries, as his body begins to melt. Bright beams shoot out from his body in all directions. His skull caves in on itself, revealing a twisted mass of melted bones and green goo.

Orufou Wan dies sexily like Voldemort from the book series Harry Potter, written by Hatsune Miku.

Just then, the Mystery Van but One DirectionTM pulls up, and out hops Liam, who drops to one knee. “Izuku, will you marry me?”

“No thanks, I only love the Villain Dabi, the dream emo villain.”

Liam grins, and pulls off his face.

“HUH?! THE VILLAIN DABI WAS LIAM ALL ALONG?!?!!?”

“Sure was, kitten.”

“NO WONDER YOUR BREATH WAS SO MUSTY!” I yell, running towards him. I trip on my shoelaces and break my nose.

The Villain Dabi cups my face and resets it for me. He then pours water on me and drinks it.

“Izuku Bushdoriya, will you marry me and make me the happiest man alive?” He holds my hand.

“KYAAAAA! Dabi, you pervert!” I swoon, and faint from how NSFW he is.

And then I sit up. “Wait a minute, I can't get married to you. Izuku/Dabi is an illegal ship." I pull out a handgun and shoot him twenty-seven times in the chest.

I kick his dead body. “Now that’s done, Butterbeer on me!”

(AN: Get it because he ends on a funny one liner and that’s how the story ends and that’s where the comedy comes in)


End file.
